Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Wannabe (A Serger Owner)


Dear SewMama Sew,

You ask me to answer the question, “How would your life be better with a new Husqvarna Viking s21 serger?” Well, let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, I was a music major. Vocal performance to be exact – because I love to sing. I love to sing fun songs with fun lyrics. But along the way, in the gloom of Music History, Ear Training and worst of all, Piano 101, I found myself losing my love of music. Ironically, I was so busy studying for music classes, I didn’t have time to practice singing the songs that I loved.

So I switched majors to Theatre. Yes, it was a practical decision in that most of my credits transferred, but I was also lured in by two words: Costume Design. Up until this point, my sewing experience had consisted of three items: a pair of cotton shorts that could be likened to pair of Jams, a jumper, and a scrunchie, all sewn at home with my mother doing most of my sewing for me. But now I found myself studying the history of clothes and the secrets of their construction. My Technical Costuming (read: sewing) class unleashed a creative urge I didn’t know I had and I flourished in the design environment. For Christmas, my parents bought me an inexpensive Kenmore sewing machine (they weren’t going to commit the big bucks on a Singer– after all, I’d just quit my life-long dream to be a singer) and in class I stitched away on one of the really nice Berninas.

But best of all, as a theatre major, I was introduced to one fantabulous machine —a machine I’d never seen before as it’s not exactly critical for the construction of scrunchies – the SERGER! It was love at first seam.

I was fascinated and intrigued by this machine that chopped off the edge of the very fabric that it stitched. I couldn’t help but drool as I saw four beautiful spools of thread and one cutter work together effortlessly to create professional ‘perfect’ seams. I used it as often as they would let me and I knew without a doubt that I needed one of my own.

Fast-forward 8 years to my present day life. It’s a good one. I’m married to a wonderful man who works hard so I can be a stay-at-home mom to the two coolest kids on the planet. I’ve got a minivan and a jogging stroller and yes, the same Kenmore that my parents purchased. Like my creative urge, it’s still going strong. As this blog shows, I’ve sewn all sorts of items on that baby – from receiving blankets to pajama pants, slipcovers to pillows, blouses to quilts. I’ve hemmed pants and taken in t-shirts. I was even a Runner Up in a Simplicity sewing contest.

You could say that I have it all.

But you would be wrong.

While my Kenmore has served me well, but it’s never serged me well. After all, it’s not a serger!

I want to cry when I read “serge this seam” in a pattern. As everyone knows, a zigzag stitch will never ever produce the same enviable, expertly-executed seams that a serger can create. I’ve considered making items to sell on Etsy, but who would pay good money for sad seams? I’ve thought about offering tailoring services to my friends but I fear the public humiliation if word got out about my ugly edges.

My heart skips a beat at the thought of finally fulfilling my college dream of owning a serger. I know my sewing, my creativity and my mood would all be enhanced with a Husqvarna Viking s21 machine. I know I would make more clothing for my children and myself and my wonderful husband if I could describe my sewing as “like a breeze!” I’d give more homemade gifts if I could use a serger to make them look less, well, homemade.

My life would be better because I’d be less frustrated and more satisfied in my final products. My life would be better because I’d spend less time fretting over projects and more time completing them. Completed projects would be used and enjoyed and the space the un-completed projects are taking up would be freed up for new ideas to take shape.

As I close my plea, let’s come full-circle. Although I am Singer-less, I still love to sing. And I still sing fun songs with fun lyrics. Thus I feel that the best way to plead my case for the serger, would be in song. Having been trained in the classics, I looked to none other than the musical geniuses of our time: The Spice Girls. The following lyrics are to be sung to the tune of their song Wannabe.

Wannabe (A Serger Owner) by Rachel Fix

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna SERGER-SERGE-AH!

Wanna make my future better than my past?
You’ve gotta give me a serger, so I can sew real fast
I have been wasting my precious time
Wanna get my act together, wanna serge real fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna SERGER- SERGE-AH!

Wanna serge for my lover, Wanna serge for my friends
Make seams that will last forever – serging never ends
If I get a serger, sewing will be bliss
Viking makes it easy, yeah that's the way it is

What do you think about that now you know how I feel
SewMamaSew – It’s a cool contest – is it for real?
Please don't ignore me! Give me a try!
If I get a serger, I will shout “OH MY!”

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna SERGER-SERGE-AH!

I wanna serge for my lover, I wanna serge for my friends
My seams will last forever – serging never ends
If I get a serger, sewing will be bliss!
Viking makes it easy, yeah that's the way it is


So here's the story from a to z, you gotta serger for me?
You gotta listen carefully
Stitches in place - faster than a race
Presser feet would be, adjusted easily
And yeah, it would-- come for free

And as for me- HA! You'll see!
Slam the cutter down the spools will spin around
Slam the cutter down the spools will spin around

Wanna serge for my lover, Wanna serge for my friends
Make seams that will last forever – serging never ends
If I get a serger, sewing will be bliss!
Viking makes it easy, yeah that's the way it is

When you serge for your lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
You gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam the cutter down the spools will spin around
Slam the cutter down the spools will spin around

Slam the cutter down the spools will spin around
Slam your cutter down and SERGER-SERGE-AH
I wanna serge for my lover…


I will even go so far as to humiliate myself and prove that I have really lost all the professional vocal training I once had (and prove why you shouldn't use GarageBand for the very first time when you are writing a post for a contest. At 2 am. ), I will also include this soundtrack of me singing the above song.




I know, it's pretty wretched. But I just want that serger SO BAD!


So, there you have it. The best plea I can give for why SewMamaSew should give me a new Husqvarna Viking s21 serger. The only thing I can add is “Pretty please!”

Sincerely,

Rachel Fix

UPDATE 9/9/2010: I didn't win. But that's okay. I had a lot of fun writing this post. If anyone comes across a Husqvarna Viking s21 serger that someone else is giving away, let me know.

6 comments:

Nancy said...

You. Are. AWESOME! If I worked for SewMama Sew, I would MAKE SURE you won, with extra prized to boot. It things like this that remind me why I'm so glad that we're friends!! Because you're awesome!!

Nick, Annie, Aiden, Sophie, Clip and Martin said...

You are AWESOME!!! And HILARIOUS!!
The kids and I just listened to this twice through! :)

If you don't win this, I think it definitely needs to be a Christmas present! :)

Who could deny this pitifully desperate request?! :)

Susanna said...

There are so many things I like about this. Top of the list, though, is the Scary Spice rap portion.

Brandi said...

You I think are the funniest person I know! The girls were dancing to it, LOL! I think you need to youtube that one!
Hope you win!

ChrisandMissy said...

You ROCK, Rachel! This is hilarious! SewMamaSew should clearly choose you.

Anonymous said...

Lol! I feel your pain! Simple projects take way too long for my taste because I am "old school" and can't bring myself to zigzag edges.....so yes, I take the painful time to painstakingly create french seams. I guess on the plus side my daughter's clothing will never unravel. Still.....not much comfort when there are so many tempting sewing projects online!